The six pillars of self-esteem
The author refers to the six pillars on which healthy self-esteem is based and while it would be possible to only focus on some of the pillars, it is highly recommended to make all of the six pillars a part of your life.
- Live consciously:- the first pillar should not come as a surprise. In order to improve ourselves in any area of life, we first have to become aware of what’s going on. There can be no change and no development without first becoming aware of our behavior, tendencies and usual responses to certain events.
- Self- acceptance:- it is very likely that all of us have been in situations where we felt full of self-esteem. This often happens when we are in our comfort zone or doing something that puts us into our element. The lack of experience has a lot of influence on the level of self-esteem. while we might not be able to “choose” to be self-confident in certain situations, we can choose to accept ourselves. Accepting is not judging and not likely or disliking.
- Self-responsibility:- taking responsibility is regaining control over our lives. Nobody else will help us with becoming self-fulfilled and nobody else can help us.
- Self-assertiveness:- assertiveness is a term often associated with negotiations and gaining something. It can be described as getting what we want. First, we became aware of our behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and then we learned to accept who we are and started to take responsibility for living a fulfilled life.
- Living purposefully:– we won’t waste our time with being unproductive but rather become a high-achiever. The goal we choose should be important to ourselves and independent of other people’s opinions or societal standards.
- Personal integrity:-having a goal and sticking to it will ensure that we can rely on ourselves. When our behavior is constantly in line without values, we gain more self-esteem as we can rely on ourselves to take care of our needs and wants. We have to identify the major obstacles and keep on working on them until we live a fully integrated life.
Nathaniel Branden explains how there are two parts of self-esteem. First is self- efficiency, which describes the basic confidence when facing challenges. The second part of self-esteem is self-respect. This is a sense of being worthy of happiness and joy.
Nathaniel Branden gives us one last tip. In order to grow, we have to seek discomfort. It is not enough to face discomfort once we find ourselves in such a situation, it is actively seeking it. The reward will be self-esteem.
Book Summary Written by:
Student of PG Winter 2019 Batch
TKWs Institute of Banking and Finance